...with all diligence

Romans 12:8 says "If a person's gift is leadership, let them lead with all diligence."

This verse came to mind this afternoon while I was praying for the leadership of VWS.

"...with all diligence."

Why diligence?

I looked up a few synonyms/definitions for diligence:

• Earnest
• Perseverance
• Zeal
• Fervor
• Passion
• Painstaking
  
• Having a purpose and being steadily and soberly eager in pursuing it
• Constant in effort to accomplish something
• Attentive and persistent in doing anything

Leadership is hard. I know many, many leaders who share moments of questioning "Is it really worth it?" "Why me?" or "I'm not sure I really want to be a leader."

When the mantle of leadership is most heavy, it is then that we must lead with all diligence. If it was easy, how much breakthrough could we really achieve for God?

The world needs spirit-led leaders who lead with all diligence, persistence, attention, passion and zeal and push back the spirit of futility that otherwise would certainly limit what God wants to do through those He's gifted to lead.

Father, help me and every other leader after Your heart to be a leader who leads with all diligence.

Complacency or Futility

Yesterday in our VWS leadership team meeting, we were praying a bit together. I LOVE praying with that team! I often get powerful images and words and I'm trying to learn what to do with them.

We were reflecting, before we went into prayer, about the amount of "bad stuff" going on across our body. We're in a teaching series on 'fighting' that is all about recognizing when we're being led astray by temptations, bad habits, influences, thoughts, etc that can be attributed to this concept of "spiritual warfare" that I've blogged about before. And, it seems as we raise our voices about these things, they come at us even harder and stronger.

While we were praying, though, I kept hearing this phrase "a spirit of futility." As I leaned into that and prayed for some more understanding, even as I knew that a spirit of futility in our team and across our body is something that I needed to push back and pray against, I think God helped me to understand something.

Last fall, a group of us went to the Catalyst conference in Atlanta. It rocked us in so many ways! Primarily, it shook us out of a spirit of complacency. Complacency is when we really don't care to challenge the status quo...we just live day to day and "settle" with where things are/how things are. At the conference, we realized that we had been lulled into complacency because things had been going fairly well, and so we settled in. Honestly, we had worked really, really hard, and we needed a rest...but, we rested too long and too deeply. Anyway, we "woke up" at that conference and got back in the game -- working to join God in the stuff he's doing here on the Westside of Cincinnati.

Recently, the amount of "bad stuff" going on has been increasing...maybe we're just more aware of it, or maybe there really is a lot more of it going on -- maybe both. But, there's a lot of it. Marriages at stake. Dreams at stake. Futures at stake. Lives at stake and being ravaged by temptations, addictions, bad thought patterns that lead people down paths that they know they shouldn't go down, but they do anyway...It's easy to get frustrated. The work we're doing is hard work. A spirit of futility could take us over, if we're not vigilant against it.

Futility is when we just give up. We decide it's just not worth it to keep fighting for change and abundance and life. And, it's just as bad, if not worse, than complacency.

Both futility and complacency are big threats to the work that God is doing. When things are going well, complacency seems to be more likely to drag us down, and when things are tough, futility could be the happy recipient of our tattered spirits...

So, I'm praying against both complacency and futility and instead for steadfast strength for the body and leadership of VWS and every other group of people working to shine God's light in dark places.

If you're feeling the weight of complacency or futility, take a few minutes to let this word sink into your heart...plug in your earphones, close your eyes, and let it soak in...

Growth, Rest and Seasons...

It's been a nice, long break from blogging...

Actually, I'm lying...

It hasn't been a "nice" long break...

Rather, it's been a bit of a frustrating break.

I've been a bit "blocked" lately -- but not for lack of topics that I've wanted to write about. Quite the opposite, in fact...

Too many things I want to write about...

Today I realized I've got to start somewhere!

So, I'll share something interesting I learned about myself and about leadership today.

I'm at a conference in Sedona, Arizona (side note -- one of the MOST gorgeous places I've ever seen!). It's a conference focused on learning to lead differently.

Now, much of the content so far hasn't been that breakthrough for me, but having some time to reflect and think has been refreshing.

This afternoon, we were talking about our natural gifts. The facilitator of the session compared our gifts to "seeds" that need "soil" to grow. He asked us to consider "what soil do we need for our gifts to grow and thrive?" We each went outside for some quite time alone to consider this question.

I realize three things as I took in the beauty of the red rock area:

First, all throughout the hard, red rock walls, there were plants and vegetation growing -- flowers blooming and healthy leaves unfurling. And it struck me -- so often, we find ourselves in a place where we feel like we just "can't grow." But, is that really true? Can't we grow just about anywhere we are? As long as I desire to grow, and look for opportunities to grow, it doesn't matter whether I'm in a "rock" or soil...

Second, everywhere I looked, there were plants and animals -- little bugs flying all around, birds chirping, the plants and flowers I already mentioned. They are growing, being beautiful and giving back to the earth in their own, unique ways, and they aren't working hard to take on more responsibility or new challenges or to learn new skills (have you ever seen a bird try to learn to water ski?)...Now, there's nothing wrong with seeking out new skills, learning, knowledge, etc, but maybe sometimes I try too hard. Maybe if I just rested in my given talents and beauty, it would be "enough."

Finally, as I was reflecting on the plants and flowers again, I thought about the season -- it's late spring/early summer. For some of the plants, it's the season to flower and bloom. For others, it's a season of tremendous growth, but not for outward blooms. In several months, for most of these plants, it will be a season of outward dormancy, while the roots continue to grow and strengthen under the soil (or rock, in this case). I need to realize that seasons are healthy -- it's not always time to be blooming and "on"...with regularity, I need time for internal growth and nourishment without the pressure of production...

I consistently struggle with allowing myself to have "seasons"...the pressure to produce is strong...but, it's a choice, and I'm going to try to work on choosing to rest, reflect and pursue inward growth more often, knowing that what I "produce" will be healthier and more beautiful for the effort. I'm going to try to be content with my given strengths and talents, appreciate my own beauty, and grow wherever I am planted at the moment...

What's in a name?

There has been a lot in popular "maverick" leadership press over the past few years about titles. All over, "hip" companies are letting folks create their own titles, or giving people very descriptive titles ("Change Agent" or "Optimizer" or "Detail Driver") while moving away from "traditional" titles like Vice President or Director. Tradition is bad! Change is good! Freedom from the chains of stuffy old definitions that put people and their contributions into a pre-determined box! Let people create a title that communicates what they uniquely bring and who they uniquely are...

I have been a big supporter of this movement for quite some time...

However...I've been thinking about it a LOT lately, and I might be changing my mind a bit...

I was reflecting on big moments in my own personal growth, both in my career and in life in general. I realized that almost every time I've made a significant leap in my growth, it's been PREceded by some "title" that was given to me. Usually, I had some understanding of what the "title" meant or the mantle it carried, but never did I feel worthy of it or ready for it. In contrast, times when I've given myself a title, it's reflective what I thought I was contributing or reasonably capable of contributing at the time, but rarely something way beyond me that I could grow into.

A few examples...

"mom" -- I was given the title "mom" when I first became pregnant with my first child. Arguably, at that point, I was not doing any of the things I thought "moms" do...I was still taking care of myself, would vomit at the sight or smell of someone else's vomit, needed a good 8 hours of sleep, and thought my life was "busy." Ha! But, something about being called "mom" inspired me to begin to live up to the title.

"mentor" -- this was a big one for me...a young manager at P&G asked me to be her "mentor" several years ago. I had a pretty good idea of what a mentor was, and I certainly didn't think I was capable of being one to someone else...I was, at that point, mostly a mentee -- seeking guidance from my own set of mentors (wise people with lots of career and life experience). But, again, somehow, being called a mentor inspired me to begin to live up to the title.

"coach" -- again...same story for me. Several others: "Manager" "Associate Director" "General Manager" "Executive Director"...each time, I've not felt ready or worthy, but I had a pretty good working "definition" of what the title meant, and each time, growth came because I strove to live up to the title.

Jesus did the same thing...he gathered a bunch of wayward teenagers with grim prospects for their futures and he called them priest, disciple, healer, fisher of men...all titles that had meaning and definition and that were not at all reflective of what these guys were doing at the time, but rather what Jesus knew they could do if they were inspired and motivated.

Anyway, a bit of rambling tonight...but food for thought...and a few questions to ask myself (maybe that you need to ask yourself, too!):

• Who in my care do I need to bestow a big title on?
  
• Where do I need to embrace the "traditional" titles because they will inspire growth for me or for someone I'm coaching or mentoring?
  
• Where might a title be holding someone back from what they could be?
  
• Are any of my own titles holding me back? If so, even if no-one else changes them, how might my own perspective or behavior shift if I strove to be worthy of a different "title?"

Here I am...

When I was a kid, we used to sing a particular hymn at my church...you may have heard it if you come from a fairly traditional background. The chorus went something like...

"Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, Lord,
if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart."

Every time we sang that song, I'd start shaking and crying -- much against my will. I can remember it, vividly...from probably about age 9 or 10.

At the time, I remember feeling a strange mix of embarrassment and excitement, but over time, I began to "train myself" to NOT sing during that hymn...to focus on something, ANYthing else so that I wouldn't start crying and look like a dork in front of the other kids, who didn't seem to be at all influenced by the music, and were obviously MUCH cooler than I was.

Many years later, I realized with awe that God had been moving in my life, even at such a young age...calling me out to follow and to lead. To not follow the crowd and do what the cool kids were doing...somehow trying to convince my stubborn heart that the life I saw others living was not nearly as amazing as the life He had in mind for me...

I re-read the passage in Isaiah 6:8 tonight and am hearing Him again...calling me out to live an extraordinary life...as long as I don't allow myself to focus on anything other than what He has for me...

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying -- "Whom shall I send?" And who will go for us? And I said, "Here am I. Send me."

Humbled again...

So, last week I did something really stupid. I'm not going to go into details, but suffice it to say that it was dumb, and I knew it was, and I did it anyway. And, almost instantly I regretted it. It was not glorifying to God, or to my family or to my co-workers...just overall reproachful! Anyway, as I was beating myself up over it this weekend, realizing that I needed to confess to a few folks that witnessed my behavior, I was feeling pretty crappy about myself...and in the midst of all that, I had the most amazing dream Saturday night...

In my dream, I was pregnant...a little hand and foot were pressing against the skin of my belly -- like the baby was full term and ready to be born and trying to push his way out. It was so real...I could almost feel the pressure from those little limbs. I woke up wondering what it meant, and headed to church...

Tim gave a message on how God wants to use us to bring life to the world. He talked about how we're all "impregnated" by God -- not to be weird or gross, but really that he's placed life in us and wants us to birth it and nurture it in the world. (Pretty good message...check out VWS and download the podcast if you'd like).

I realized that, even through my crap and stupidity, God still wants to use me. He forgives me before I forgive myself. He was trying to tell me through my dream and then through that message on Sunday morning that He's given me a life and purpose to bring into the world!

I was reflecting this week on Romans 7 -- probably trying to punish myself a bit more...in vs. 15-24, Paul talks about the craziness of humanity where we find ourselves doing stupid things that we know are wrong, that we don't want to do, but we do them anyway. And, avoiding things we should be doing that are good...and how wretched we are. Interestingly, I remembered much of the language of this passage, but I didn't realize the ending...and the beginning of Chapter 8..."Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God -- through Jesus Christ our Lord!...Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

So, I'm working on forgiving myself by trying to birth and nurture life, and live out the purposes He's called me to for the moment...and realizing that I can learn through my mistakes and imperfections and hopefully leverage them to make me a better, more humble leader and follower...

20-some years ago...

Okay...so, at the risk of totally dating myself, I have been thinking quite a bit lately about something that happened to me in my Junior year of high school...20-some years ago...

I went to Milford High School (proud member of the class of '89 -- Go Eagles!).

Now, it's important to understand that, as a teenager, I was bit of a nerd -- somewhat intelligent, but under-confident, and not at all sure where I really "fit".

One day, in my Junior year, I walked through the door into an English class with Mr. Roy Ferguson. Mr. Ferguson was a wonderful, older teacher from the northeast who loved Ernest Hemingway and Herman Melville. He was confined to a wheelchair by MS, and he had a passion for teaching and counseling students that was inspiring. I enjoyed Mr. Ferguson's class, and did fairly well, but didn't think there was anything remarkable about that...nothing remarkable about my writing or my participation in the class discussions or my answers to Mr. Ferguson's questions...

But, Mr. Ferguson did notice something "remarkable" about me. One day after class, he asked me to stay behind.

"Ann," he said, "you are a leader. Do you have any experience with the school newspaper or yearbook?"

(He knew I didn't, since he was the advisor for both groups).

I shyly said "No. But, I think I might be interested in writing."

Mr. Ferguson smiled and said: "Actually, I would like you to be the Editor-in-Chief of the yearbook for your Senior year. You'll need to pull a team together and lead all of the design and production of the book. I know you can do it. I know you'll be great. You ARE a leader, Ann."

I was stunned. Affirmed. Excited. Scared. Nervous. No-one had EVER called me a leader. No-one had EVER asked me to do something so important. No-one had EVER trusted me to create a team, set a vision, complete something so big. It was a key moment in my development and understanding of how I'm wired. Throughout the next year, he gently encouraged, empowered and enabled me to lead my team and produce the yearbook. It was a tremendous amount of work, I made a LOT of mistakes and I learned several lessons on leadership that I still carry with me today.

Many years later, I wrote Mr. Ferguson a letter thanking him for calling out something in me that I didn't see. Something that sparked development and self-awareness in me. Something that has impacted my life immeasurably. A year later, Mr. Ferguson died. But, his impact remains through me and so many countless other students he developed.

Who was it for you? Take a minute and thank someone that has spoken truth into your life about the amazing way you are wired and gifted. Then, pay it forward and call something out that you see in someone else...you never know what kind of impact you could have!

Some more about the flocks...

Still making my way through Ezekiel. (as a side note, my thirst for scripture is crazy insatiable...this is new for me...and pretty darn awesome).

Anyway...last post I shared this conviction about leading the flocks well...In Chapter 36, God reminds Israel of her reward and his promise to her (and things start to get a little "nicer" relative to all the warnings!). There a LOT in there, but I'll pull out one of the two specific sections that really spoke to me...starts in v 25.

"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit in you (note -- I LOVE that part!) and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." He goes on to talk about how she will be fruitful and how he'll provide for her...he talks about resettling the towns and rebuilding ruins; cultivating what was dead and barren...and he closes with this "...So will the ruined cities be filled with flocks of people. Then they will know that I am the Lord."

We are in the middle of this kind of awakening/re-birth here on the Westside of Cincinnati.

So, God, if you've really designed me to be a leader, and there's a flock to lead and this fruitful, feeling, re-built place is where we're heading...Count Me In! I'm all yours...

Shepherds and sheep

Zeke is still kicking my butt...chapter 34 got me this morning.

Here's a snippet of Chapter 34: "Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? ...You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. ...So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals."

I was driving to my favorite "hiding place" where I sometimes go to get work done on mornings when I don't have too many meetings, and this small (sometimes annoyingly persistent) voice kept saying "Africa". It's been whispering the name of that distant continent for a few years now. It also consistently whispers "Price Hill"... And, it consistently whispers "religion". Why these three? One is a distant continent, one is a close, but unfamiliar neighborhood, and one is an all-too familiar place I "lived" for many years. Pathetically, I keep (mostly) ignoring these specific words from the "voice"...mostly out of a long list of fears that I won't get into today, and, perhaps a busy-ness of tending to other whispers from that same voice (or maybe I'm a little clinically insane) that seem to be giving me other really important things to do.

However, a few of those fears are starting to evaporate...quickly...then, Zeke comes along and convicts me again, just as it has been since I started reading a week or two ago.

So anyway...I'm a pretty logical gal...If I am called to be a shepherd (isn't that just another word for leader?); and God is whispering to me about a field of sheep; then...(yes, I know the answer, friends...) And, the promise later in the book seems to provide some insight into the bigger picture...God appoints David to replace the lazy shepherds so that "(the people) will know that I am the Lord, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those that enslave them." That sounds like some pretty awesome freedom to me! ;-)

Once again...CRAP! God, tell me which flock to go tend and when...isn't the flock I'm trying to shepherd here and now important...I'm sure there's a connection here...order my steps...here I am...send me...

What is God whispering to you? Is there a flock of sheep somewhere that you are supposed to shepherd? Let's pray for each other!

Be careful what you pray for...

A few years ago, I began praying a pretty dangerous prayer. I knew it was dangerous, but I had finally reached a point, spurred on by my life group, where I knew I needed to pray it. The prayer went something like this... "God, break me of my pride. Knock me off my high horse and put me in my place. Don't let me ever think that I am responsible for anything that YOU accomplish through me. Humble me."

Have you ever prayed that one? Just a little hint, that's the kind of prayer He really likes to answer!

So, I'm still digging through Ezekiel. And I've realized something...much of what Ezekiel is sent to tell Israel is that they are too dang prideful. He's giving them all sorts of warnings and prophecies about the dangers of their self-righteousness and pride. He pretty much says He's going to destroy them if they don't knock it off and give credit where credit is due.

And, I'm realizing how very "knocked off my high horse" I really am these days. Thanks for answering that prayer, Dad.

It feels a little rotten, but in some ways, it feels so good. I think there's a balance I need to get to, though...I've almost let the pendulum swing too far.

Accepting thanks, praise, affirming words is difficult for me for some reason, even though it's totally my #1 love language! I feel a little self-centered to need that kind of affirmation...maybe I'm worried that if I accept it, it will quickly lead to pride once again.

I think, though, that God would be glorified if I was confident in my gifts and calling (subtly different than pride, certainly), in gratitude for the giver of all good gifts...so, I'll take these messages from Zeke and this weird "am I a leader" questioning and count them as gifts on my journey to becoming the leader that He's really calling me to be...

Really a leader?

My latest crisis of conscious is around whether I'm really a leader?

It's been crystal clear to me over the past week or so, that most of what I do is not "center-stage" leadership...I tend to do my best work in service of another leader...someone who has great vision, but needs help making it happen. Someone who can point to where the ship should go, but needs someone to actually steer it.

Or, maybe those are just the opportunities that have been placed before me, and God is training me up to be some other kind of leader...sometimes I feel like I have vision. When I do, it's pretty audacious stuff...why is it that the visions I get are never the ones I put strategy behind? Is it because I'm better suited, talented, gifted to support, or am I afraid?

Crap. This has kept me from good sleep for 3 nights straight now...

If someone else brought these thoughts to me, I'd tell them to get over themselves, eat a piece of humble pie, and do the work God is putting in front of them. Who cares what it's called or what credit you get or whether ANYONE other than you knows what you're doing -- God knows at the end of any given day whether I've glorified Him, right? If I'm being a servant leader, and equipping those around me (the leaders I serve under as well as folks that look "up" to me for guidance), then I'm doing what I'm called to do, and that IS leadership, right?

My brain is on overload tonight. God, give me wisdom and discernment to tell which of these messages in my head are from you and which are NOT from you, but rather messages that are trying to knock me off track. Is this You, sending me a message on humility, or is this the enemy sending me a message about a lack of value or need for power/authority? Maybe both are going on at the same time...the tension is thick and the balance is hard to find.

Servant Leadership?

I've long been a fan of the term "servant leadership" and I think I defined it in my head as rolling my sleeves up and working alongside those I lead; never asking them to do anything that I wouldn't be willing to work on with them; always putting their needs ahead of mine and making time to encourage or train or affirm or coach.

I recently read an article that I thought did a much better job of defining servant leadership, and really articulated so well the one of the keys to effective leadership. The article explained the hallmark of servant leadership as really being about equipping and enabling people. Its so simple -- as most really good definitions are! If I want to be a good leader, I can't stop at setting a vision and getting people excited about it, I have to really make sure that they are set up for success. Teaching, coaching, training -- all key elements. Equipping means that I provide the tools and resources needed -- either I provide training or support myself, or I make sure to get the right support lined up; Enabling is really about making sure that people know what they need to know to deliver on a task...very different from doing it "for them" (enabling can have a very negative connotation in some applications)...it's really about filling in gaps (there's that darn gap thing again) so that people see the big picture and how their work fits in; showing them examples to help get them started and providing practical guidance on how to move forward.

I know lots of leaders that are really good at casting vision and getting people excited, but a good portion of them fall short on enabling and equipping. I probably tend to err on the side of enabling and equipping without paying enough attention to the vision casting piece...

Now, I can choose to work on the areas I'm weak in, or partner up with leaders who need me as much as I need them...I tend to prefer the latter approach. Seems more efficient, and I just can't resist filling in the gap between a great vision and implementation! ;-)

Anyway, there's a new definition of servant leadership to chew on...let me know what you think!?

Am I a leader worth following?

So, this week at VWS, Tim taught on the characteristics of good leaders. Not the skill sets of leaders or the competencies of leaders or the strength or talent of leaders, but the integrity and character of leaders. Tough stuff. Very convicting.

I'd like to pick apart each of the 14 characteristics and explore where I am with each of them over the next few weeks. I think it will be challenging and scary, but a great pathway for growth and self-awareness.

The first one (from 1 Timothy 3) is that a leader is above reproach. The message version says "well thought of"...the amplified version says "must give no grounds for accusation"...KJV says "blameless". It's easy to gloss over that, but it's a high standard, isn't it? That means that leaders don't do things like gossip, drink too much, laugh at or tell a dirty joke, talk badly about someone behind their backs, hold prejudices, the list goes on. All very human things that I do from time to time -- probably more often than I even realize because so many of those things are almost expected and certainly very accepted. But, a leader is called to rise above all that -- because all of those things are reproachable! When someone does them, we think less of that person as a leader, don't we?

My vulnerability here is so clear. I'm weak and sometimes I just want to join in and feel like I'm part of the "crowd" or the cool people having all the "fun". For the next few days, I'm going to meditate on this idea of being blameless, above reproach, well-thought-of. I'm going to think about the leaders that I've followed and those that I've deliberately not followed -- I can already think of examples of where leaders did things that may have seemed small or insignificant to them at the time, but scarred their credibility in my eyes -- an unjust reaction to a co-worker, a dis-tasteful joke, an assumption based on a stereotype (isn't that pretty close to a prejudice?), etc. How many times today did I violate this character trait around those I lead, around those I lead with, or even in my own thoughts?

Here's my thinking on this...(I know, desperately logical and a bit predictable...but, that's me!):
1. Become more aware of what I'm doing that is reproachable.
2. Deliberately work on some new patterns and behaviors to replace old ones.
3. Confess to someone and ask them to hold me accountable.
4. Allow new habits and behaviors and God's grace grow me as a leader in these areas...

Want to try these steps with me? Let me know how you do...I'll check back soon!