Really a leader?

My latest crisis of conscious is around whether I'm really a leader?

It's been crystal clear to me over the past week or so, that most of what I do is not "center-stage" leadership...I tend to do my best work in service of another leader...someone who has great vision, but needs help making it happen. Someone who can point to where the ship should go, but needs someone to actually steer it.

Or, maybe those are just the opportunities that have been placed before me, and God is training me up to be some other kind of leader...sometimes I feel like I have vision. When I do, it's pretty audacious stuff...why is it that the visions I get are never the ones I put strategy behind? Is it because I'm better suited, talented, gifted to support, or am I afraid?

Crap. This has kept me from good sleep for 3 nights straight now...

If someone else brought these thoughts to me, I'd tell them to get over themselves, eat a piece of humble pie, and do the work God is putting in front of them. Who cares what it's called or what credit you get or whether ANYONE other than you knows what you're doing -- God knows at the end of any given day whether I've glorified Him, right? If I'm being a servant leader, and equipping those around me (the leaders I serve under as well as folks that look "up" to me for guidance), then I'm doing what I'm called to do, and that IS leadership, right?

My brain is on overload tonight. God, give me wisdom and discernment to tell which of these messages in my head are from you and which are NOT from you, but rather messages that are trying to knock me off track. Is this You, sending me a message on humility, or is this the enemy sending me a message about a lack of value or need for power/authority? Maybe both are going on at the same time...the tension is thick and the balance is hard to find.