A few years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night, by a crystal clear voice telling me "You are going to die."
Mind you, there was no-one awake in our house at the time. Nick was sleeping soundly next to me, and the kids were comfy in their beds.
Still, the voice in my head was perfectly clear...and tenacious...
"You are going to die."
I protested, pled, bargained. At some point during this interaction, I realized that the voice was God's, and for awhile (longer than was reasonable, probably), I fought with Him.
Finally, I caved in. "Okay," I rationed, "I'm going to die. When?"
"Someday." The voice answered me.
"Um...could you provide a little more detail please...???"
"No, but do you see that man lying next to you?"
"Yes, of course...he's snoring and taking up more than his half of the bed..."
"Yes...He is the one I made for you.
Are you treating him that way?
You are going to die someday...will he know that you knew that he was the man for you?"
Ouch...
and
Wow...
What an amazing message from God that night.
Honestly, since that night over 6 years ago, that one vision/message has kept me going some days.
Marriage is hard work.
But, today, I'm reaping an amazing reward.
Nick is heading tomorrow on an adventure. To Honduras. On a mission trip. Six years ago, this would not have been something that he would have ever considered.
But, the man he is today is a transformed version of who he was then. I've always been humbled by his honesty and pragmatic approach to life. Such an amazing foil to my incessant strategic "what if" planning mindset...
And, in past year or so, he's pretty much 'lapped me' in the journey of spiritual growth, and this trip represents a key point in his journey with God.
I'm joyful and excited for him...and, almost surprisingly, a bit sad.
I can hardly imagine a whole week without him here. He'll be gone in about 6 hours, and I'm a mess...seriously...crying off and on all day today...trying to be brave and not let on that I'm not sure how to survive without him here...
And, I'm realizing that this trip is just as much about him finding whatever God has for him there, as it is about me more fully understanding the depth of this love that God has given me for him...
So, here's to a week of learning for both of us, from thousands of miles away from each other.
I hope you'll pray for both of us this week...
5 comments:
Oh Ann, this post gave me goosebumps. Thanks for sharing this with us. I woke up this morning about 6:30, and the first thought I had was of all the amazing men heading to Honduras. They, as well as you and your kids, will be in my prayers this next week.
Thanks for sharing that, Ann.
I, for one envy the boys. I hope that the day will come that I can find a way to go on one of the mission trips. Until then, I guess I'll just do my best here.
By the way, I know what it is like to be lapped spiritually by your spouse. I'm just getting out of the pits and she's going full speed around the track.
Awww, Ann, hugs to you!
Thanks for sharing that.
I think your poor husband was getting a bit nervous about getting to the airport when we were all sitting around drinking coffee...
I can't wait to hear his perception of the trip. This is his first trip like this, isn't it?
Thanks Kelly for your prayers!
Doug, what's stopping you, man!? Great post on your FB page, by the way...seems like healing is long and hard.
Melanie, yes, his first trip like this...I can't wait to hear his perceptions, too...maybe we can have you guys over for dinner after they get back!?
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