"We live in a world where bad stories are told, stories that teach us life doesn't mean anything and that humanity has no great purpose. It's a good calling, then, to speak a better story. How brightly a better story shines. How easily the world looks to it in wonder. How grateful we are to hear these stories, and how happy it makes us to repeat them." - Donald Miller, from "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"I didn't want to finish this book. I stalled and read just a few pages at a time...it was that good...I just didn't want it to end.
Never has a book read me like this one did -- at this very moment in my life.
This moment of transformation. Hope. Belief that I can have a better story. Embracing that I'm worthy of a better story. Serious, difficult, chain-breaking honesty with myself. Learning to walk on the right side of the line that divides self-deprecating levels of humility from fully embracing the glory of who I was created to be and the story I was created to live and tell; and the countless stories I was created to intersect and inspire.
You and I were created to live an amazing story. There are so many opportunities right in front of us, every day. Beauty that we can choose to appreciate or rush by. Risks we can embrace or shy away from. Relationships we can initiate and invest in or keep at arm's length. Hurt and shame we can leave behind or choose to hold onto.
I'm starting small, but committing myself to making little steps every day...each of these are new habits for me...so, it's a risk to break my routine, which I've recently realized I was really attached to...something about when your routine gets thrown out the window and you have no choice but to embrace each moment...
- Run. Already blogged about this one...
- Enjoy decorating my house -- even though I know I probably won't stay in this house very long, I really like to decorate and I want my space to reflect who I am...so, instead of rationalizing why I shouldn't invest the time or money, I'm going to enjoy it.
- Laugh with my kids. I'm working hard to be "present" with my kids. To close the computer and put down the iphone and really listen when they talk. Giggle with them when they are silly at the dinner table.
- Ask for help. Reaching out to friends to ask for help and offer to help. Share my pain and sadness and fear; and my victories and accomplishments and celebrations. I don't have to do it all myself.
- Choose hope. My friend, Ali, models this really well. Fear and loneliness and self-pity pull strongly, but hope is stronger, when I choose to allow it to be.
2 comments:
I am so proud of you Ann. I always was though, but even more so now. It's completely amazing to see someone you care about grow when it seemed that there wasn't room for any more growth. It could seem like you've made the best out of a bad situation, but that's not the case at all. You've been brave enough to create a BETTER situation, a healthier situation, a situation in which you have set the path and opened the door to grow by leaps and bounds, not only realize what's important but to give those things the recognition they deserve - weather that be your own growth, giggling with the kids at the dinner table and being where you are, taking risks and not living in fear of what happens if things don't go according to "the plan," REALLY learning to live for today, and being proactive about doing what it takes to love and respect yourself as much as possible. I am proud of you and love you my friend.
I know how hard it is to make a better story for yourself, or rather, how hard it is to decide to start writing it. But it is the starting that is the important thing. All else follows. Looking forward to my christmas break read!
xo
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