Looking in the mirror -- Part 1

We just started a new series at VWS called "A look in the mirror." Its about taking an honest look at ourselves and seeing whatever God wants to reveal, convict, affirm in each of us.

One area I've been looking at for myself lately is around my "need" for "stuff." Tonight, as I was praying and asking God to reveal things to me that get in the way of doing His work, He reminded me of this area. Then, as I was reading through some scripture (I'm just going through the New Testament, and I've just started in 1 John), I read:

" The world and all its desires pass away, but the person who does the will of God lives forever." 1John 2:17

God and I have been working on this one for awhile now...

About 2.5 years ago (wow, can't believe it's been that long already), I left P&G. About a year before that, we bought a house on the Westside of Cincinnati and moved our family over here to help start VWS.

It is a gorgeous house.

It is a big house.

It has lots of bells and whistles. (well, not literally, but it has lots of little and big extras).

When we bought it, it was definitely a "God thing" -- pieces falling into place in weird ways...I won't go into details, but I do believe that we are in the house that God wanted us to buy at the time.

But, over the past two years or so, we've begun to feel like maybe we shouldn't be in this house.

Maybe it's too big. Too gorgeous. Too much.

We don't make nearly as much money as we did when I was at P&G. And, honestly, we shouldn't be spending nearly so much on a mortgage payment as we are right now.

Truth is, we've got a LOT of nice stuff.

Harder truth is, as we've acquired all of this nice stuff, our lives have become more and more complicated and less and less focused on what really matters.

To be brutally clear, MY life has been less and less focused.

So, for the past two years, I've been quietly praying into this feeling. Half-asking God to will me and Nick to do what He wants us to with His money and with our family. Nick has been praying this too, only we didn't admit it to each other!

Slowly, ever so slowly, the reasons we had for staying in the house began to seem so illogical.

- The hassle of moving again
- Where would we put all of our furniture and "stuff"
- I like my double ovens
- We like our 3-car garage
- We need a kitchen island the size of our first apartment

And now, we're at a place where God has so willed us to want to get out of this house that we can hardly wait to get it sold.

And then, comes the harder part...He's willed us to let go of the house, and now we have to wait on His timing.

But, even through all of this, if I REALLY look in the mirror on this one, here's the hardest thing for me to admit...

I'm embarrassed that I live in such opulence.

I don't want people to know.

If they see the house, I explain how we got such a great deal on it and that we never would have bought it if it wouldn't have been a foreclosure, and that we never would have built something with so much "stuff" in it.

I am forcing myself to write this down...it hurts...

I don't want to tell you that I live in a house that is worth about $700K and currently on the market for a cool $599K.

I think you'll judge me. You'll say I'm 'rich' and therefore must not be after God's heart. You'll say that I value "stuff" more than God or my family. That I pursue work that keeps me away from home too many nights on business trips just to pay a mortgage, and that if I had my priorities straight, I'd make different choices.

And, you'd be right...at least in part.

I am rich. I do value stuff -- way more than I should.

But, where you'd be wrong is that I am chasing hard after God's heart for me, for my life. Standing next to Nick and fighting against everything that is getting in our way of doing what God wants us to do with what He has blessed us with.

So, the house is on the market.

We are ready to let go.

Three months it's been on the market. No one has even looked at it. Tomorrow, someone is coming to look.

Father God, help us to be patient and wait on your timing, and honor our desire to chase after you more than we chase after stuff. Thank you for willing us to want to steward your money differently. We will wait on You and Your will in humility and anticipation...and really hope that the buyer is coming tomorrow!!!