Am I a leader worth following?

So, this week at VWS, Tim taught on the characteristics of good leaders. Not the skill sets of leaders or the competencies of leaders or the strength or talent of leaders, but the integrity and character of leaders. Tough stuff. Very convicting.

I'd like to pick apart each of the 14 characteristics and explore where I am with each of them over the next few weeks. I think it will be challenging and scary, but a great pathway for growth and self-awareness.

The first one (from 1 Timothy 3) is that a leader is above reproach. The message version says "well thought of"...the amplified version says "must give no grounds for accusation"...KJV says "blameless". It's easy to gloss over that, but it's a high standard, isn't it? That means that leaders don't do things like gossip, drink too much, laugh at or tell a dirty joke, talk badly about someone behind their backs, hold prejudices, the list goes on. All very human things that I do from time to time -- probably more often than I even realize because so many of those things are almost expected and certainly very accepted. But, a leader is called to rise above all that -- because all of those things are reproachable! When someone does them, we think less of that person as a leader, don't we?

My vulnerability here is so clear. I'm weak and sometimes I just want to join in and feel like I'm part of the "crowd" or the cool people having all the "fun". For the next few days, I'm going to meditate on this idea of being blameless, above reproach, well-thought-of. I'm going to think about the leaders that I've followed and those that I've deliberately not followed -- I can already think of examples of where leaders did things that may have seemed small or insignificant to them at the time, but scarred their credibility in my eyes -- an unjust reaction to a co-worker, a dis-tasteful joke, an assumption based on a stereotype (isn't that pretty close to a prejudice?), etc. How many times today did I violate this character trait around those I lead, around those I lead with, or even in my own thoughts?

Here's my thinking on this...(I know, desperately logical and a bit predictable...but, that's me!):
1. Become more aware of what I'm doing that is reproachable.
2. Deliberately work on some new patterns and behaviors to replace old ones.
3. Confess to someone and ask them to hold me accountable.
4. Allow new habits and behaviors and God's grace grow me as a leader in these areas...

Want to try these steps with me? Let me know how you do...I'll check back soon!

Standing in the gap...

For the past few weeks, I've been so fired up, and convicted and messed up and excited because I sense that God is really trying to lead me somewhere, tell me something or show me something. The Catalyst Conference in Atlanta was amazing and powerful, and since I've been back, I have felt like I'm in training for some big "thing"...although I'm still not at all sure what it is...

Anyway, a few days ago, I felt called to read Ezekiel. Honestly, I've never really read Ezekiel. But, that night, I started...it worked out well, since I had taken inventory of my "busy times" and decided that time spent watching TV was better spent with God, so I jumped right into Ezekiel, thinking God would reveal something amazing and inspiring from this prophet of old...

Have you ever read Ezekiel? It's scary and dark and complex and haunting! It's basically a warning about how disappointed and angry God is with His people, Israel, who have gone off and started worshiping idols and living lives are self-consumed and deviant. He calls Zeke to warn the people that God plans to destroy them if they don't get their act together. He tells Zeke to say it loud and proud, even though the people won't listen.

Several things hit me pretty hard throughout the first half of the book...primarily around a spirit of religion that I feel all around me in my community -- that keeps people from knowing real relationship, real community and real acceptance and keeps people living apart from God, even though they think they are living the "right way" because they follow the rules. I thought a lot about taking risks for God to speak loudly, persistently, boldly, even if people aren't listening...

But here's what really got me...Zeke 22:30: I looked for someone to stand up for me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one.

Wow...ouch...is that me? Are you asking me to stand in a gap?

Yes, He said...Stand in the gap...

So, here are two of the gaps I think He's calling me to stand in...

• Between real and false community...getting beyond surface level community.
• Between vision and implementation -- this is my gift, I think...strategy...there are places I need to be using this gift and closing the gap that keeps His work from getting done

I think there are some others...but I'm not sure how to articulate them yet...something about the gap between how certain people in my life see themselves and how God sees them; something about the gap between who I am and who I'm meant to be...I'm still searching for some answers...

How about you? Are you supposed to be standing in a gap? Which gap? What's keeping you from standing in it? Maybe giving it voice is the first step to standing...