Take a deep breath...

I'm having one of "those" weeks...

Every once in awhile, I have something close to a panic attack when I look at my calendar and a growing list of things "to do" and have that sinking, awful realization that I am certainly forgetting several really important things I need to do...

It happened this afternoon.

My work schedule has been busier than normal.

As I get more and more into my role at VWS, there is more and more to do.

School starts soon, and that means appointments, supplies, open houses, registration paperwork, clothes and shoes, new backpacks, etc, etc, etc.

Soccer practice is ramping up for both Dominick and Lanie.

The house is on the market, and Nick and I seem to be doing a lot of paperwork and upkeep to keep it presentable for whenever that one perfect buyer comes along.

And, I'm neglecting the things I shouldn't neglect...

• Staying in the word -- reading scripture daily keeps me centered...why is it one of the first things I let go of when things get crazy like this?
• Caring for Nick and the kids -- somehow they get the brunt of my frustration and anxiety, as I stomp around feeling sorry for myself.
• Caring for myself -- exercise is always a challenge, but it's about 9pm, and I just realized I haven't eaten dinner...which means I'll probably end up eating something not-so-healthy and much too late.
• Sleep -- late to bed and early to rise...trying to fit it all in.
• Friends -- I'm already fighting the logical solution to give up time with my girlfriends in order to accommodate soccer practices and time at home.

So, I'm going to try to set some boundaries for the amount of time I spend on work stuff and not neglect the things that I know keep me healthy and sane...and keep taking deep breaths...

Oh, how I'm missed you...

Sometimes things just get out of control, you know?

I was doing so well there for awhile...

Had (made) some margin in my schedule....

Prioritized spending quite time with God....

Journaled/blogged my thoughts and various things I felt like God was revealing to me...

Then, as I tend to do, I let life take over and take control...

So, I've missed you all...I've been reading your blogs, but haven't done much on mine.

And, I'm not sure I've been giving God enough space to talk as much as I should...as much as He might want to talk to me.

Sometimes when the kids are talking all at once to me, and I just want to share something with them, or hug them, or look at them and they are squirming around and screaming and whining about something...I stop...and wonder...

Is this what God sees when He's trying to talk to me? Trying to hug me? Trying to show me or tell me in some way that He loves me?

Of course, I know the answer to those silly rhetorical questions. And, I realized I'm a whiner sometimes, and a squirm-er most times...

So, I'm trying to slow down and listen...But, I will share this little update...

I read Isaiah 58 a few weeks ago. I read it over and over and over and over again. Found myself getting pumped up, moved, excited, convicted, called. And then, for a few weeks, distracted.

Tim read it this week during his message at VWS....and I saw in my bible how I had underlined the whole darn chapter...

and I realized...

He's trying to say something to me...

and I need to slow down a bit, fix my eyes on Him, and listen for awhile.

So, here's to re-prioritizing...again...and remembering that I have to make an effort to make time to listen...