Flame

Today was a rough day.

Difficult. Frustrating. Sad. Exhausting.

So, tonight as I was sitting around moping and wondering how I could've gone from being pretty fired up a a few days ago to feeling so glum. I realized that I hadn't picked up my Bible at all yesterday or today.

I have been reading through Paul's letters to the various churches (i.e. groups of believers). I have found them to be so relevant to the struggles and challenges and opportunities we have today. So, I read 1 Thessalonians tonight. Lots of things stood out to me, but the line I kept reading over and over and over was this one:

"Do not put out the Spirit's fire." 1 Thes 5:19

What does that line mean to you? As I prayed about it, the fire that came to mind is the one that He has uniquely given to me. Ann Eileen Lauer Calcara. Me.

I'm pretty unique. You are too, but this is my blog, so bear with me for a minute here...

Today, and for the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling particularly un-empathetic. Empathy is not really my thing. I like people. I have feelings. But, feeling FOR other people...that's not me. This has made me feel less-than-effective as we have been dealing with lots of really difficult, painful stuff -- lots of people are hurting really badly. And, I've struggled because I don't always (ever?) feel their pain. And, maybe, this limits and disables me from contributing in a meaningful way during this difficult time. Or, maybe not...

I could choose to let this lack of empathy consume me...but, that would be putting out the Spirit's fire...

Instead, what if I choose to stoke the flame that is mine...and focus on what I can do and can do well, trusting that what I have is needed, and what I have to give is enough? I'm surrounded by folks who are empathetic...and my responsibility is just to use what I've got, right?

The Spirit's fire in me burns brightly when I'm using the gifts I've been given...the talents I have...and not trying to be someone that I'm not. Want to know what kind of flame burns in me?

I am a MAXIMIZER. I focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. I seek to transform something strong into something superb.

I am STRATEGIC. I create alternate ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, I can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

I am strong in understanding and leveraging INDIVIDUALIZATION. I am intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. I have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.

I am guided by BELIEF. I have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for my life.

I am RESPONSIBLE. I take psychological ownership of what I say I will do. I am committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.

How do I know this about myself? Gallup Strengthsfinder. Amazingly accurate. These are the descriptions they give. I could elaborate on how each of these play out in my life, but that might get boring...

I hope you know the flame God has set ablaze in you. Don't put it out by believing that who you are NOT is more defining than who you ARE.

Processing Sedona

Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you for the prize. Such a person goes into great detail about what he has seen, and his unspiritual mind puffs him up with idle notions. He has lost connection with the Head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow. (Col 2:18-19)

Two weeks ago, I visited Sedona, AZ on a business trip.

More accurately, two weeks ago, I visited Sedona on what I thought was going to be a business trip, but what actually ended up being a very interesting part of my own spiritual journey.

First, let me say up front, that some of you may think I'm a total nut job by the time I'm done sharing some of this with you...I think I can live with that...

Second, I'm still processing all that I saw and experienced in Sedona, so I hope you'll show some grace as I stumble through this...

I flew into Phoenix on Monday morning and rented a car for the 2 hour drive north to Sedona. I've been to Phoenix several times over the past few months, but had never been to Sedona. I knew I'd be in "red rock" country, but didn't really know what else to expect.

As I drove north and into the mountains, the beauty of the red rocks seemed to appear out of nowhere. Honestly, I had never seen such amazing beauty before. I could barely drive, and if I wouldn't have already been several hours late for the "conference" I was attending, I would have stopped multiple times to snap a few pictures and stand in awe of the beauty of the landscape. I was reminded over and over again of the indescribable beauty that God creates, and I felt small and a bit ashamed that I had never ventured that way to see and appreciate this amazing beauty right in the good 'ol USA. The sun was bright and the day was exceptionally clear. It was as if the rocks were worshipping Him with their beauty!



After a couple of hours, I neared the town of Sedona. A small-ish town, I discovered. The pueblo architecture was lovely, and the vegetation was much more lush than I had imagined, but as I drove into town, I couldn't quite explain why I started feeling a "heaviness" and seeing a bit of a darkness across the landscape. Somehow the beauty that had all but over-taken me just a few miles south didn't seem so impressive or beautiful anymore...and, honestly, I was not sure I understood why at all.

I made my way through winding roads towards the conference center where our meeting was being held, and as I drove through town, I began to notice a few things...

Crystal shops. Tarot card readings. Psychics. UFO crash sites. Sedona "energy" sites.

Huh?

Every block. Every strip mall. Every shopping center. Every quaint looking shop.

It took me a day or two to get my bearings and begin to put things together...let me digress for a minute...

A few months ago, I blogged about a theory that the most stilted, criminal minds might actually be some of the most gifted and 'dangerous for God' people ever...they are simply a big target for the enemy to deceive with his lies that they should/can use their gifts to gain wealth, fame and fortune and that those things will bring them happiness...in much the same way, I began to understand a difficult truth...

In a place of such amazing natural beauty, that can only be from God, the Holy Spirit is certainly present and active...the tears and sense of awe that I experienced driving into Sedona before I got into the town is evidence of this unspoiled presence of God. But, once in the town, I realized, that where there is so much of God's presence, of course, other, darker spirits are likely to be present, and this dark presence explains the oppression and sadness I felt there.

The piece I'm still working through is that the town of Sedona seems to be taken over by new-age concepts. They talk about Sedona being a 'vortex' of energy from the earth...this energy has 'healing power' and is deeply 'spiritual.' The presence of this 'energy' is thought to be stronger in Sedona than in other places. And, it's credited to the 'creator' or the 'divine.' Scripture is often quoted, but so are the words of other 'texts' and thinkers (Buddhism, Hindu, etc). Locals are quick to reference/credit "God," but don't talk about the idea of relationship or Christianity or Jesus or angels or demons. Some consider themselves 'born again' believers that proclaim Jesus is the Son of God, but seem to believe a list of other new-age-y things as well...

While I was there, I feel like God revealed some truth to me in terms of understanding how strong and deceptive the presence of evil is in the world. He strengthened me and my armor to fight for real freedom for those who are deceived and who are deceiving others (knowingly or unknowingly) by allowing these other spirits to influence them. As I've been learning, I realize how deceptive new-age thinking can really be...maybe I'll write more on that later...it's a bit much to process through, and I'm far from knowing enough to really talk intelligently about it all...

Certainly, I did enjoy the natural beauty of Sedona...this is one my favorite spots -- Cathedral Rock, I think it's called. And, I'm so grateful to be reminded that God's beauty is all around me, but that we have to be vigilant to guard against other, deceptive spirits that are also on this earth -- at least for the time being! ;-)

I'm curious to talk to others that may have been to Sedona. What was your experience? Where else have you felt the presence of God and the presence of darkness or evil as well?